For some hosts, inventing a new cocktail or turning out a version of a classic Cosmopolitan in an icy shaker is the stuff of party history. It only takes one gathering that turns out the perfect French ’75 or a rare Side-Car Cocktail to create memories and expectations for your guest for years to come.

But stocking a full bar for a party is expensive and tricky--not to mention sticky-- with all the fruit juices and citrus mixers that go into creating the most commonly requested cocktails.  As much as we want to be able to honor the requests of our guests who are game to swirl the syrupy Gimlet to the edges of a wide mouth martini glass, or sip the frothy Tom Collins--we don’t have to provide the same service or a bar menu as Harry’s Bar in Paris, the legendary home to the invention of the many of the classic cocktails.   And, in this world where the offer of a bottle of sparkling or flat water can prompt as much discussion as the question of red or white wine, we have to be sensitive to the more disciplined of today’s lifestyle.   A host’s first job is to create a comfortable atmosphere for all the guests, so today’s entertaining requires at attempt at hitting right note for the drinker and the non-drinker. 

When I look back on our first years of entertaining as a couple in the 1980’s, I recall jugs of wines and giant “handles” of hard liquor crowding out a few cans of diet soda and cartons of orange juice atop a soggy linen table cloth on my kitchen table.  I shudder at the image of the half consumed bottles of Smirnoff and Jack, discarded corks-- not so much for the disarray--but for the disregard of those who might be challenged to navigate the handles of vodka to get to the half liter of ginger ale.  Back in the day, we all enjoyed the drinks without regard to excess and the potential for problem.  A hold over from our college days, we partied like it was our job.

Not so anymore.  Though it is supposed to be “anonymous” we all know those of us who are in the “program” and, well, maybe should be in the program.  I am not in Alcoholics Anonymous, but some of my best friends are which is why I am particularly sensitive to the abstemious when I entertain. 

When setting up for a gathering of class parents last weekend--many of whom I did not know at all—I found myself being very careful in setting up the liquor offerings.  Here’s my new strategy—also great to implement when having a party of teenagers and parents. 

Give thought and emphasis to your non-alcoholic offerings as you do to the wine and spirits.

• Take advantage of the ever-growing world of flavored waters and soft brands.  A sparkling pomegranate cocktail is going to be a great ice-breaker--quite literally-- if you freeze the popular new pomegranate elixir in ice trays and use them to cool down a sparking lime seltzer.
• Set the bar up without a conspicuous display of the hard stuff—but have it at the ready for someone who takes a cocktail.
• Choose one mixed cocktail to serve and, if possible, offer a virgin version of the same.
• If you don’t know whether your guest drinks alcohol or not—offering a fun non-alcoholic drink upon their arrival (See A Bigger View for Anthony Giglio’s "A Drink in Every Hand" article) is always a safe bet. 
• Pour and serve all your drinks in a similar glass—like an all-purpose wine glass, so the non-drinkers are indistinguishable from those that imbibe.
• Set up a separate table with red and white wines.
• Use separate coolers for the beer and sodas.

I’d love to hear your ideas for managing a party with alcohol in this day and age and, hey, as always…let me know if you think I’m making too BIG a deal out this.